First Day Of Work

February 4, 2013

First day of work!

As always, I'm still trying to find my spot. I've realized that I'm more of a follower if anything. Not much of leader. I think I'm more of a silent leader, I can't just throw myself out and there be all loud and what not. Anyway, I'm working from 8:00am – 4:30pm. I was assigned to the deck crew. We're actually working on the blue apartments next to the church. Three guys, one girl. I just feel intimidated by all these dudes and their construction skills. I don't work well with tools, angles, tape measurements and all that jazz. For one thing, I'm constantly on edge when it comes down to those things and having eyes on me. On top of that I get really frustrated when I can't get the hang of something quickly. When it comes down to those things, I always end up winging it. I think I picked the wrong time to come down though because it's possible that's all we are going to be doing up until the group volunteers come in. I'm actually looking forward to the art projects though, since I've rediscovered my drawing ability.

This morning I was a little upset because I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Couldn't get in the church, hungry. It was just rough. I'm getting a little comfy now that I'm figuring things out. What I really need to do is open up more to people? Talk to them, but that's not me. I'm not the most talkative person in the world unless you start the conversation.

Now, what did I do today. Like I mentioned earlier, I helped take up floorboards from a deck, but somehow shifted to the errand girl, giving people this and that, guessing what this tool is, moving ladders hauling off things and standing around watching them do there thing. It's been two years since I've used a power tool. Our mini spike doesn't count in Vinton doesn't count. We didn't do much. I struggled with the bits for the drill. Hell, I struggled with the drill in general. And it sucks when you're working with people who know what this is and how to use it properly. I wonder what they think about me. I can't seem to get anything right. I blame my nerves and how flustered I get when I'm under pressure.

Hopefully things will get better. It actually does feel good to get off work and actually feel tired. Like right now I'm yawning like crazy.