Realization

I have come to realize that I don't have any support with my new adventure. My boyfriend seems to be the only one with high hopes for me, but that's because he has seen me be the obedient child for the longest of time. I'm always the one to do what mommy and daddy say, with occasional outbursts every now and then. Now, I'm 24 years old and I'm trying to stretch my wings, but my parents won't let me. Mostly it's my mom who seems to have a tight leash on me and she is having a hard time trying to let go. Sometimes, I wish I didn't have parents who cared so much. Sometime, I just want them to let me do my own thing whenever I feel like it. I don't mind having the occasional lecture, but when there seems to be tension in the air every time I mention what I plan on doing in New Orleans. It honestly makes me feel bad because I feel like I don't have their support.

I don't like it when my folks act like I know nothing about the city. Like I'm naive, stupid and I don't have any street sense. Like I haven't lived there before. I keep telling them over and over again, I know the safe route. I know the quickest route to St. Charles Avenue. I've even stooped so low into showing my mom the safe route using street view on Google Maps. I know which streetcar to take to get to the French Quarter. I keep telling them as long as I'm in a crowded area, I will be fine. Even though New Orleans has some crazy people, I'm pretty sure they aren't crazy enough to shoot someone in broad daylight in the French Quarter. From what I read, most of the violence isn't on tourists, but between neighbors. What gets me, it's the people who are afraid to stay in the city who always have negative things to say. I say you should stay in the city for more than a day yourself to make a judgement. Because everyone in New Orleans aren't gangbangers.

I also feel like they don't trust me, even though I keep saying I'm not going to go wander off in the night unless someone is with me. What are they going to do when I get myself a good paying job in another city that's bigger than New Orleans and much dangerous? Are they going to forbid me from taking that job? You can't run my life forever. I know I'm getting their acceptance now, but deep down inside, to be honest, they would drag me off the bus if they could.

All I'm asking for is some support and have an open mind and stop being so close minded. That's all I'm saying. I don't even feel excited when I discuss New Orleans with them, just because the support isn't there and they aren't happy with my decisions. I guess it also makes me feel bad because I'm always seeking approval and always wanting someone to be proud of me. It's funny, they don't even see the good in what I'm doing. I'm dedicating my life to service. SERVICE! Helping someone better themselves.

Why can't they be happy with that?